Puppy's Life

Lead By Example

Gentle guidance helps your puppy enter adulthood with confidence and charisma

From the moment your puppy arrives in your home, you're his co-pilot for his whole new world, from playing games to learning what's okay to chew on (instead of your favorite shoes!). Your puppy relies on you to teach him teamwork, and while ordinary household objects and human routines are familiar to you, they're completely new to your puppy in the beginning. That's why providing gentle leadership for your pup is so important from day one. Your loving leadership shapes his universe, builds his confidence, reduces stress, and encourages positive behavior. In addition, it allows you and your pup to build a relationship of mutual trust and respect.

"Leadership is a gift you give to your dog," says Diane Arrington, companion animal behaviorist specializing in puppy development and director of Dallas-based PetPerfect Academy.

Much like a parent who sets examples for a child, it's your job to provide guidance while teaching basics of daily life—how to climb stairs, where to sleep, where to go to the bathroom, how to politely greet visitors. Without this guidance, a puppy will struggle to navigate his new world.

Who Shall Lead?

Puppies are born with an innate desire to follow a leader, and after leaving their mother's side they look around their new environment in search of someone else to fulfill that guiding role. That someone is you.

Establishing yourself as your puppy's leader is not about "dominance"—it's about teaching, communication, working as a team, and understanding the world from your dog's perspective.

"Leadership and dominance are not the same thing," says Nicholas Dodman, director of the Animal Behavior Clinic at the Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine, and editor of Puppy's First Steps: Raising a Happy, Healthy, Well-Behaved Dog. "Leading means showing the way, but not using physical force."

How to Take the Lead

The things you can do to establish leadership are simple and can be woven into your daily routine. First and foremost, a leader teaches. It's critical to begin structured training as early as possible. And don't just teach commands—teach your dog to learn. Use positive methods (food lures for instance) rather than negative ones (harsh corrections). Teach using visual cues as well as voice cues; many dogs respond better to visual ones. Daily reinforcement of lessons and exposure to different environments are also important. Puppies learn contextually, so you may need to teach, and re-teach, the same command in several different locations or with different distractions present before he begins to understand. Use verbal praise, body language, and energy level to make yourself more interesting than the distractions.

The first thing you want to teach, naturally, is "sit," because it's easy for even a very young puppy to learn. Once your puppy understands this one word, you can already get started with the second component of a leadership program: making him earn.

"It's what I call a ‘say please' program," explains Pat Miller, certified pet dog trainer and behavior consultant, and author of Positive Perspectives: Love Your Dog, Train Your Dog. Simply ask your dog to sit before granting access to all resources—food, toys, attention, affection, access to outside, etc. This type of earning also establishes an early pattern of good manners. "By sitting your puppy is saying, ‘Please give me my breakfast,' or ‘Please put my leash on,' or ‘Please let me go outside.'"

"Stay" is also a cornerstone to learning. Teaching sit-stay or down-stay helps your puppy learn impulse control. You can also gain leadership by teaching many other fun, active commands and tricks that you both enjoy, which also helps provide an outlet for your puppy's boundless energy.

While encouraging positive behaviors through learning and earning, it's also wise to set up your home so you puppy doesn't even have the temptation of engaging in undesirable behaviors.

"Pick your books and shoes up off the floor so your puppy doesn't learn to chew them," Miller says. If necessary, use temporary barriers (like gates in doorways) to keep puppy away from areas that can't be kept clear. You can remove the barriers later.

When puppy does manage to get into trouble, which he undoubtedly will at some point, just gently interrupt and redirect him to another activity or with a command. He can't chew your shoe and do sit-stay at the same time!

Understand that many troublesome behaviors, like chewing or digging, serve a developmental purpose for puppies. To help offset them, simply provide him with a positive outlet. For instance, redirect him to a toy for chewing or a sandbox for digging. Getting to know your dog's temperament and personality can be key to determining what boundaries need to be set. For example, an extremely confident, strong-willed puppy may need more limits than a reserved one. Consult with a professional who can conduct a "temperament test" that can help you better understand your pup.

For best results, all humans in the household need to act consistently to avoid confusion and frustration for everyone involved, including the puppy. With a little planning and teamwork, it all adds up to positive, healthy relationship.

A strong bond will emerge in the context of your gentle, effective leadership. Even as an adult, when he is unsure, nervous, frightened, or excited, your dog will turn to you—the one he respects and trusts—for guidance.